HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REESE. I WILL CELEBRATE YOU, ALWAYS
Today (February 12th), we should be celebrating my little Valentine’s twelfth birthday. Instead, I’m grieving the loss of her.
Yes, Reese was getting older, she had slowed down considerably, and we had made certain adjustments to accommodate and comfort her. For example, we carried her upstairs to bed and limited the amount of fetch she played; although, she was reluctant to oblige these ‘time outs’ and would bark in protest.
Reese was slower than usual, last Wednesday evening but still wanted to play fetch. Her spirit was willing; her little body was struggling to keep up. She drank water and ate her dinner. Reese was resting more than usual, that evening; although, restless through the night.
Reese was displaying symptoms of (what we hoped was just) an upset stomach. She wasn’t interested in breakfast, on Thursday morning. She has declined on previous occasions, and whatever was ailing her usually passed before the following meal. Reese did go outside to do her business, had a drink of water, and rested on her bed. I went to work. As soon as our vet clinic opened, I called and booked an appointment for the next day. Our dog walker messaged later that day, to say there were accidents on the rug. I received a phone call from our vet clinic at 1:30 pm asking if we were on our way. Due to miscommunication, the clinic thought we were coming that same day.
I’m now wondering: what if I had just left work that morning and driven the forty-five minutes home, put Reese in the car, and drove the one and a half hours to our vet clinic. Would she still be here?
My husband insisted on picking up a cooked chicken for Reese for supper. His effort was futile; she wasn’t interested.
The next morning, Reese struggled to jump up onto the porch after doing her business. She ‘chested’ the wooden porch, and dragged her little body up the step. After recovering from the mishap, she walked back into the kitchen. Could this mishap have escalated her decline?
I wrapped Reese in a blanket and placed her in the passenger seat of my car, and we headed for the clinic.
Unfortunately, Reese’s vet was away. We saw another Doctor, and blood-work was done — no definitive answers were provided. I was told the emergency clinic would likely put her on saline i.v. and keep her overnight for 24-48 hours to rehydrate. Due to Reese’s heart murmur, I was advised to take her to an emergency clinic with a Cardiologist. That meant a two-hour drive to Mississauga, or, a three-hour drive to Guelph. After waiting for another hour, I was advised that neither clinic had a Cardiologist working, that day. Eventually, I was told we would be accepted at an emergency clinic just over an hour away. At this stage, Reese was still somewhat alert, although definitely, very poorly. Reese looked at me as the vet tech carried her away. This was the last time she would look at me and fully recognize her mama.
My husband met me at the emergency clinic, and we waited for an update. After what seemed like forever, the vet tech returned and told us they were running more tests and had put Reese on oxygen as she was having difficulty breathing. The emergency clinic vet came to speak with us in that room they put you in when you’re about to receive bad news. And, it was. Reese was in cardiac failure. We wanted to bring her home and have the mobile vet come to the house so we could all say our goodbyes, together. The vet suggested that it wasn’t an option as Reese was struggling to breathe without the oxygen. We didn’t want her to suffer. When we saw Reese again, we knew it was the right thing to do – for her. I held her in my arms, and we said goodbye to our beautiful, sweet girl. I am heartbroken.
Goodbye, my sweet little Valentine. I’m sending these birthday wishes across the bridge:
- A limitless supply of squeaky toys for you to enjoy. I will miss the constant ‘squeak, squeak, squeak.’ That was never annoying to me; it always made me smile.
- Never-ending games of fetch
- Tacos, beef jerky, steak, and salmon, with peanut butter, Ice-cream, and pupcake treats for afters (or starters)
- A vast selection of the comfiest, cushiest beds and blankets to curl up in for naps (between games of fetch, of course)
- A collection of pretty accessories to wear, after each, of many, pampering sessions you will enjoy
- Newfound energy, allowing you to run and play with all the new friends you make
- Spring, and fall weather, all year long – your preferred temperature(s)
- Bedtime treats, each, and every night (know that I’m hugging you close to my heart as I fall to sleep)
My dear sweet Reese. I will celebrate you, always xoxo
Proudly,
Your mama
caren gittleman says
I am so deeply sorry about the loss of darling Reese. This post just broke my heart. My Dakota will be 12 at the end of this month, so this really hit me…HARD………..I wish I could offer you some (((hugs)) of comfort. I am sending prayers for strength for you and your husband during this hard time. This was a most beautiful tribute, once again I am beyond deeply sorry for your loss. xoxo
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Sadie says
I appreciate your words of kindness. Thank you, Caren.
Alli Smith says
I am so sorry for your loss! I have tears in my eyes as I read this. She was so beautiful and I know you will always cherish the time you had together.
Sadie says
Thank you, Alli. Yes, I have so many beautiful memories of times shared with Reese.
Hindy Pearson says
I knew I should have grabbed a kleenex before reading this. I’m so sorry for the loss of Reese, she was such a little cutie in that picture. Your birthday wishes really had me in tears, and I feel your pain as I said goodbye to my heart dog Red in May. I can’t believe 9 months have passed, I remember getting her ready to take her to the vet for what I knew was the last time like it was yesterday. You’re lucky to have such wonderful memories of a beautiful life shared.
Sadie says
Awww, Hindy. I’m sorry for your loss also.
Renee says
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Reese. You did an honest post which had to be difficult to write. I’m sure Reese is in dog heaven now running and playing around.
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Sadie says
Thank you, Renee. I imagine she is playing fetch.
Michelle & The Paw Pack says
I’m so, so sorry. Reese is so adorable. I’m sure she knew how loved she was.
Sadie says
Thank you, Michelle. I’m sure she did. Reese deserved to be spoiled and we did what we could to give her the best life.
Sherri says
What a beautiful photo. I’m so sorry for your loss. That sounds heartbreaking.
Sherri recently posted…Happy-Day-After-Valentine’s-Day Dog Photo shoot.
Sadie says
Thank you, Sherri.
Adriana Lopez says
Oh my goodness I am so sorry for your loss, I can feel your pain because our pets are family, losing them is the worst thing we can experience. I am praying for you and Reece. Now you have a beautiful angel in heaven. There are no words of comfort that I can give you know you loved her and did the best for her. My most sincere condolences.
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Sadie says
Thank you, Adriana. Yes, Reese was an angel on earth and now she has wings.
Holly/Emilia says
Oh I bawled my eyes out reading your list of wishes for her birthday and I didn’t even know her. I’m so sorry for your loss. My soul cat is starting to slow down and I deny it every day.
Don’t torture yourself with second guessing, it won’t help and there’s nothing you can change. She would forgive you anyway.
Sending purrs and paws up for comfort and healing. My heart breaks for you.
Holly/Emilia recently posted…Feeding Your Cat with Urinary Crystals: Weruva Review
Sadie says
Thank you Holly. I was determined to celebrate her (on her birthday). I hope my wishes reached her.
Ruth Epstein says
Sarah I am so so so sorry about Reese, she was such a special little girl and you were an amazing Mom. Those memories will be etched in your heart forever and a beautiful tribute to her. Sending you a big big hug with a lick from Layla xxxxx
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Sadie says
Thank you Ruth, and Layla xx
Debbie says
Aww, I’m so sorry for your loss. That’s how it happened with our senior chihuahua too. He was pretty fine one day and then took a quick turn for the worse and ended up on oxygen at the emergency vet. He was in a 100% oxygen chamber and even in there wasn’t breathing well and he wouldn’t survive outside of it. It’s always so hard to say goodbye. Happy Birthday and Valentine’s day to your beautiful little angel over the bridge.
Debbie recently posted…Happier, Healthier Dogs Thanks to Darwin’s Natural Pet Food
Sadie says
Thank you, Debbie. I’m sorry for your loss also xx
Kitty Cat Chronicles says
I am so so sorry. My heart is breaking for you and your husband. We just had to say goodbye to our senior pup Lucy several months back, and it was devastating. Losing our babies is one of the hardest things. I hope you can find comfort in the memories and love you shared with Reese. Sending hugs
Sadie says
Thank you. So many wonderful memories of Reese.
Paroma Chakravarty says
I am so sorry for your loss! I am mom to a senior dog and I know that I am not prepared at all for this. You gave Reese such a good life. I am sure she is looking down on you from wherever she is and smiling with her beautiful brown eyes. Again, I am so very sorry (I am crying now)! Please take care of yourself in this grieving period.
Sadie says
Thank you, Paroma. I have learned that, even if you try to prepare yourself for the loss, you won’t be ready.
Jana Rade says
So so sorry about your loss. Their souls do live on. I strongly believe that.
Jana Rade recently posted…Top Veterinary Articles of the Week: Kennel Cough, Circovirus, and more …
Sadie says
Thank you, Jana. I completely agree – I feel her presence around me.
Kamira says
Oh I’m so sorry for your loss. From one pet parent to another I understand. Your Reese is so adorable and sweet. You did the best thing to keep her from agony and suffering. I so remember asking myself all those “What If..” questions too! I blog about this very topic. One post that may really help you is Dealing with Guilt after Pet Loss https://impurrfectlife.com/dealing-guilt-pet-loss/ Again, sending only positive vibes your way. The pain is heart wrenching but please know Reese will never leave you as she’s still with you in spirit….I think that’s why our heart aches so…. xoxo
Sadie says
Thanks, Kamira. I will definitely check out those links.
Rebecca Sanchez says
Oh my gosh, sweet little Reese. You are so incredibly brave to share this with us – and I will keep you all in my thoughts. Dealing with grief from pet loss is so painful and your article is a sharp reminder that time with our sweet pups is so short.
Sadie says
Thank you, Rebecca. Yes, we always think/hope we have more time…
Marjorie Dawson says
I am sorry you lost her. She sounds the best of friends,
Whatever you do, don’t feel guilty about anything. Unless you are a veterinarian, or wonder woman we are all less than perfect. I could beat myself to death about not knowing there were probiotics that would help with Dusty’s digestion but I shouldn’t, I just know more now and dusty was loved to pieces.
Never. Feel Guilty.
You have an amazing dog who loved you. This is such a gift to be proud of.
Sadie says
Thank you, Marjorie. I appreciate your kind words.
Beth says
I’m so sorry to learn about Reese. She had a wonderful life with you. Losing a loved one is so hard, and pets are no exception. Sending you lots of love during this difficult time.
Sadie says
Thank you, Beth. I’m glad I have so many photos to remember her by.
Alex says
This really was so touching to read. I’ll admit I had a hard time reading the end (I am an extremely emotional person). I am truly so sorry for your loss.
With love,
-Alex, Zach, and Navy
http://www.navycorgi.com
Sadie says
Thank you, Alex, Zach, and Navy
Dorothy "FiveSibesMom" says
Oh, I am so heartbroken to read this. Sending you huge tear-stained hugs. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Reese.
Sadie says
Thanks, Dorothy. Much appreciated.
Cathy Armato says
OMG, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Reese is such a beautiful little girl. I know how heartbroken you and your family are right now. I wish I had words that could comfort you but I know there are no words. *hugs*
Love & Biscuits,
Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them
Cathy Armato recently posted…Pet Dental Health Made Easy
Sadie says
Thank you, Cathy xx