I’m not proud to say, I lost my sh*t.
Well, technically, it was Reese’s sh*t, and it was tossed not lost.
The incident, though short-lived, and (thankfully) without consequence, still weighs heavily on my mind.
Henry, Reese and I were on our way back from a lovely walk. The sun, combined with a gentle breeze made it the perfect temperature. The dogs, noses to the ground, were enjoying the smells of spring while I was taking in the view of the lake. It is a beautiful walk, and although the road is not wide and there aren’t sidewalks, driver’s are, for the most part, respectful of pedestrians. Most will slow down and even move over to give extra space. Bikers, who don’t need to give the extra space will slow down to quiet the sound of their exhausts. We’ve had groups of bikers pass us on the road many times and neither dog has reacted in the slightest.
The enjoyable moment was soon shattered by a raucous, high pitched scream. I looked up in time to see the flashy red car speeding toward us. My guess is thirty kilometers over the posted speed limit of forty kilometers. Throwing the poop bag at the car was a knee jerk reaction.
I swallowed my rapidly beating heart back down from my throat to my chest and comforted Henry and Reese, who had both found refuge in the bushes alongside the road. Once recovered, I noticed a neighbour standing at the end of his drive shaking his head in disbelief at the crazy young driver – not me (I’m sure).
‘What was that’? He asked – referring to the banshee on wheels.
I had just responded that I had no idea when we heard a second, shorter scream followed by a third before she disappeared out of range.
‘Maybe she won the lottery’ I suggested. ‘Good for her.’
Again, he shook his head, collected his newspaper and made his way up his drive without any mention of my reprisal.
Henry, Reese and I continued walking, and as we headed home, I replayed the incident over again in my mind. Thankfully, at the time of the incident, the bag only contained a Reesie poop. Had there been a hefty Henry nugget, it might have connected with its intended target instead of fluttering to the ground like a para pooper.
As I let go of the bag, everything began to move in slow motion.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, what did I just doooooooo(do)?
I remember looking directly through the open passenger window as I launched that torpoodo. Perhaps, with a bit more weight, the bag would have landed square (and, a bit squishy) in the lap of the driver. Did I mention she was wearing shorts? Apparently, your attention to detail becomes heightened when your adrenalin is pumping!
That would have given her something to scream about – or shut her up!
Only two days before, I was speaking with another neighbour about speeding, careless drivers on this road. I learned that her little Jack Russel had been hit by a car. The driver had not been paying attention, texting perhaps, and came off the road. The little dog who had been sitting off to the side was struck and killed.
Carelessness kills and incidents like the above mentioned can be easily avoided.
I was angry. I’m only human – not perfect by any means. I’d love to know I’m not the only one. What is your ‘less than perfect’ moment?
Thanks,
I might have wanted to do the same but…in this day and age with all of the crazies out there, many could have guns and had it landed in the open window the situation could have been much, much worse. I understand your anger though, I truly do, God knows I have knee-jerk reactions all of the time. I am more worried about YOUR safety!
Caren Gittleman recently posted…Life Can Be Tough….
Thank you Caren.
Yes, clearly I was not thinking. Fight or flight reaction I guess.
I’ll say it…wish the bad had connected!!! 🙂
Nichole recently posted…ASPCA Celebrates 150 Years with #ASPCA150 Days of Rescue + GIVEAWAY
She would not have won that argument!
I certainly don’t blame you for that! I hope you don’t have to do it again.
Rachel recently posted…Shelter Me: Hearts & Paws (Episode 6)
I promise to behave.
I rather wish the poop would have made it in the window! Naughty I know, but it is the truth!
might have caused some skid marks! Sorry, I had to.
Hmm… I’ve yelled at people who have their dogs off-leash before. I told one woman she wasn’t a special snowflake that gets to break the rules and she said she was!
OMG! She did not! lol
I have let out an HBO word when a neighbor had their ginormous dog loose in the front yard. It came charging towards us and %#@*%&# came right out of my mouth! LOL! I wish the poop had landed inside the car too!
M. K. Clinton recently posted…May Is National Microchip Your Pet Month
That would have been terrifying too! I always imaging what I would do if a large, angry dog charged us. Probably stick Henry and Reese up a tree before trying to scramble up myself. I haven’t climbed in years – can’t imagine that scene ending well.
I like that – we can carry “poop bombs” to throw at senseless drivers. See what you started? 🙂
I’m a bad influence 🙁
This isn’t a funny incident by no means (with the driver and car), but I am rolling in laughter imagining if it had connected. I wish it had!!! Senseless people deserved to be poop splattered 🙂
Miss Molly Says recently posted…#Win a Fun Dog Mug – Pick Your Favorite! 2 WINNERS – ends 5/31 US Only
Her car would not have been so flashy then!
Haha…amazing! All the time I’ve spent carrying around poop bags during walks and I never thought to use them as bombs.
Michelle & The Paw Pack recently posted…May 2016 Pet Treater Review & Coupon Codes
I hope you never have to.
Some times you do things without thinking…so I don’t blame you a bit for doing what you did. I probably would have done the same thing. :). ~Island Cat Mom
Thank you for understanding.
I can’t blame you for your reaction!
Sweet Purrfections recently posted…Room for Three
It’s too bad drivers and pedestrians can’t all enjoy the space (space being key).
I love “torpoodo” – The sh@# really hit “the van”! I just dealt with my share of speeders on our quiet windy road.
Ha ha Lisa – nice one. I’m sorry you also have to deal with inconsiderate people.
Personally, I think your response was entirely appropriate. I’m just sorry your poop bag didn’t have enough heft to make it through the window, BOL!!! Speeding, reckless drivers never seem to get caught, there’s never a police officer around to witness their atrocious driving & fine them accordingly. I’ve never hurled poop at an offemding driver, but I have flipped them off & dropped the F bomb once or twice! You’re not the one who should feel bad about what happened.
Love & biscuits,
Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them
Thanks Cathy. I did speak with the Police in our area and suggested that they set up their cameras behind the shrubs along one of the side roads. I haven’t seen them there yet. Might put another call in.
You did right, am sick of the inconsiderate people today – drivers, skateboarders, cyclists and BIG TIME the texters that just walk, nearly trip on leashes and blame you 🙁
Inconsiderate by not being ‘present.’ Yes, there are times and places for these things (skate board parks, cycle lanes and benches).
Drivers need to SLOW down in our neighborhood too – it’s all I can do sometimes to get my dog on the other side of me and sometimes I don’t even think the driver sees us. I think it’s OK to throw poop at someone about to hit you!
Christine Caplan recently posted…Herb Garden: Tips & Tricks for Spring Gardening
It is so scary!
Your point is well take and you did it in a great way – love the title.
Jodi M Clock recently posted…A MAN AND HIS CAT
Thanks Jodi.
Torpoodo!!! Oh well, it could have been worse you could have tore the bag open and let it fly! Poor little pups – a mother’s love, don’t mess with it!
MattieDog recently posted…Why I Hate Lawn Sprinklers! #DogsComeClean
Absolutely right MattieDog!
Use of the term “para pooper,” needs to have a reason to happen more frequently, in my opinion! Don’t be ashamed, I probably would have done the same thing!
BOL Bryn! I just visualized hundreds of blue baggies falling from the sky.
LOL!!!! I’m not sure I would have thrown the poop, but that is really funny! It sure would have given her something to talk about if it had landed in her lap. Hopefully she will be more careful and considerate next time.
Fur Everywhere recently posted…Dog Gone: A Lost Pet’s Extraordinary Journey and the Family Who Brought Him Home Book Review
She definitely saw me toss the baggie – stopped screaming for half a second until she realized there was no weight to my threat.
I’m pretty sure I would have done the same thing. This was a scary situation and you reacted out of stress, understandably so.
I signed up for some yoga classes to regain my zen!
I was reading this on my iPhone and started “ohhhhhhh”-ing out loud! While the situation is scary, and my heart breaks for that other dog’s family, I sure hope that crazy girl learns to drive way more carefully and respectfully for both her safety and the safety of others before tragedy strikes. “Losing your sh*t ” is just priceless! I think I would have automatically have done the same! Now…if only the bag opened and went splat! on the side of her car as it whizzed by…
FiveSibesMom recently posted…Shave a Husky? Don’t Do it!
People are so distracted these days!
Oh dear- you have given me ideas. Kilo’s do not pack much of a punch but it sure would be satisfying. I don’t blame you in the least.
Talent Hounds recently posted…Amazing Program Saves Warriors And Rescue Dogs
Kilo is probably close to Reese in size. The knot in the bag is as big as the nugget!
I like the terminology – “para pooper”. What a difficult situation. I’m sure glad Henry and Reese were okay—great idea to duck into the bushes!
Jasmine Bachrach | About Pet Rats recently posted…Got Urine?
They have better instincts than I do.
Wow!! What a crazy walk out that was!!!
Jenna Hughson recently posted…Long Weekend Bliss
Indeed!